Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Britney Spears' Vagina Cops Razzie Nomination

Britney Spears' vagina heads the list of five celebrity vaginas nominated for a Golden Raspberry award in the Razzie's newest category: Worst Vertical Smile. Razzie founder, Jon Williams, told The Celebrity Dirt, an adult celebrity website, that the "recent rash of celebrity beaver shots" inspired the creation of this new category.

"The picture of Britney Spears' puffy emerging from the back of Paris Hilton's limousine was the shot seen round the world," said Mr. Williams. "Never has so little been viewed so often by so many."

The worst vertical smile award is a departure for the Razzies, which are presented to honor outstanding cinematic achievement.

"Since many of our emerging female actresses snatch more attention for getting diddled in club bathrooms, puking in public, or going in and out of rehab," said Mr. Williams, "we decided to meet them where they live, as it were, by recognizing their achievements for airing it out in public."

In addition to Ms. Spears, who was nominated for "unsightly stubble, dryness, and a hideous-looking C-section scar," other contenders in the worst vertical smile category are: Paris Hilton, visible Tampon string; Lindsay Lohan, large, multicolored wart; Jessica Simpson, unsightly ingrown hairs; and Tara Reid, severe bruises.

When Ms. Spears was informed that her vagina had been nominated for a Razzie award, she was thrilled.

"Mah cootchie's been burnin' like a bitch for the last day an' a half," said Ms. Spears. "Ah told mah momma somebody muss be talkin' about it."

Razzie award winners will be announced February 24, the day before the Academy Awards are presented.

In other celebrity news, Kirstie Alley won a 2007 Eclipse Award from the Thorougbred Racing Association in the best older mare category.