Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Paris Hilton Gets Her Booty Ransacked

What do you give the girl who has everything? How loads of jewellery - because if that girl is Paris Hilton, it’s all been nicked.

Paris Hilton has been burgled, with the thief bagging jewellery worth up to $2 million. But more fool the burglar, we say, because he’ll have to go a long way before he finds anyone who’ll pay that much for jewellery that tacky-looking.

It’s Paris Hilton we feel sorry for - this has to rank as the most violated and vulnerable she’s ever felt. Or at least the most violated and vulnerable she’s ever felt without a man’s penis stuffed into her gaping mouth.

Tell you what, this is shaping up to be a rubbish Christmas. Forget about it being the season to be jolly - just look at the news that we’ve reported already today. Michael Jackson might die soon. That dreary posho from Twilight has cut off all his hair. Worse still, people actually like that crappy-looking Jim Carrey movie. And now Paris Hilton has been burgled.